


I'll Be Good

by KarenHardy



Series: Recce Winchester Songfics [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, I'll be Good by Jaymes Young, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 13:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19464958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KarenHardy/pseuds/KarenHardy
Summary: The internal struggle of being a hunter gets to you. But you still swear to be good.Don't like, don't read, don't hate, bitches.





	I'll Be Good

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ERROR404CANNOTFUNCTION](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ERROR404CANNOTFUNCTION/gifts).



When you wake up every morning and see yourself as a devil in the mirror; a threat, a monster with innocent blood on your hands, you learn to stop looking.

When you end every evening drowning your thoughts in the drink, trying to see yourself clearer, or maybe just blur it all away, you think of the fires you’ve lit. The loved ones whose memories you’ve burned, whose hearts bleed in your mind-

You tell yourself you’ll be better. So she does.

“I'll be good, I'll be good. And I'll love the world like I should.” She tells herself between sips of whiskey, choking as it burns her throat. “Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good. For all of the time that I never could.”

Her past has tasted bitter for years now, so she wields an iron fist. Grace is just weakness, or so she was told.

She’s been cold, She’s been merciless.

But the blood on her hands scares her to death.

Maybe it’s waking up, today.

“I'll be good, I'll be good, love the world, like I should… I'll be good, I'll be good- I'll be good, I'll be good…”

Shutting out the light becomes second nature when you become half darkness.

Doubting that there is innocence in the world is easy when you were so often mislead.

Bruises and tears, all those years, you don’t forget the sparks that you’ve stomped out, all of the perfect things that you doubt.

“I'll be good, I'll be good.” She tells herself, voice quiet and broken, alone in a motel room, late at night, no light. “And I'll love the world, like I should… Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good. For all of the times, I never could.”

All of the times one never could.


End file.
